12th July, 2023
Meet Your Protectors
Each and every one of us have parts within us that function as “protectors”. Whilst we can view these protective parts as self-sabotaging, in getting to know them, you'll discover that they actually have your best interests at heart. Rather than being about self-sabotage, a more compassionate view would be to say they are about self-preservation.
Through exploring the Internal Family Systems model developed by Dick Schwartz, I often find myself working with these protective parts in a kinesiology balance. Protective parts generally come into existence at a time in the past when we were overwhelmed, in danger, or unable to make sense of a situation. They act a bit like a body guard to ensure the same thing will never happen to us again.
To give an example, imagine there was a situation at primary school, where you felt embarrassment or shame in front of the class. The protective part will do it's best to manage things so you won't have to feel the embarrassment or shame again. The problem is, these protective parts often get stuck in the past and don't realise that you've grown into an adult.
In this example, the protective part may still be affecting your life as an adult, by inhibiting you from speaking up in groups or doing anything that could potentially lead to a similar situation. It could be experienced as resistance, fears of being seen or judged, or it could come in the form of a critical voice that fuels low self worth. A more reactive type of protector might run towards a substance or activity that numbs any feelings whenever a hint of embarrassment or shame surfaces.
Other common examples of protectors relate to relationship break-ups, where the protective parts are working to ensure you don't get too close to anyone again. On the other hand, a protector might keep you striving to be "good" or "useful" or "perfect" so you will not be rejected or hurt in future relationships.
Can you recognise a protective part within yourself?
If you're unsure, taking a look at any area of life where you feel stuck may lead you in the right direction. The good news is that it can be very rewarding and transformative to work with these protective parts. If you're keen to explore this further, I'm happy to be your guide.
Through exploring the Internal Family Systems model developed by Dick Schwartz, I often find myself working with these protective parts in a kinesiology balance. Protective parts generally come into existence at a time in the past when we were overwhelmed, in danger, or unable to make sense of a situation. They act a bit like a body guard to ensure the same thing will never happen to us again.
To give an example, imagine there was a situation at primary school, where you felt embarrassment or shame in front of the class. The protective part will do it's best to manage things so you won't have to feel the embarrassment or shame again. The problem is, these protective parts often get stuck in the past and don't realise that you've grown into an adult.
In this example, the protective part may still be affecting your life as an adult, by inhibiting you from speaking up in groups or doing anything that could potentially lead to a similar situation. It could be experienced as resistance, fears of being seen or judged, or it could come in the form of a critical voice that fuels low self worth. A more reactive type of protector might run towards a substance or activity that numbs any feelings whenever a hint of embarrassment or shame surfaces.
Other common examples of protectors relate to relationship break-ups, where the protective parts are working to ensure you don't get too close to anyone again. On the other hand, a protector might keep you striving to be "good" or "useful" or "perfect" so you will not be rejected or hurt in future relationships.
Can you recognise a protective part within yourself?
If you're unsure, taking a look at any area of life where you feel stuck may lead you in the right direction. The good news is that it can be very rewarding and transformative to work with these protective parts. If you're keen to explore this further, I'm happy to be your guide.
Photo by Rod Long on Unsplash