The Gift of Being Understood
Recently I found myself absorbed in a series on ABC iview called Inside Our Minds. The premise is simple yet profound: people are supported to create a short film showing what it feels like inside their own minds. The series focused on experiences of autism, ADHD, and dyslexia and each film was later shared with family and friends, offering a bridge between inner and outer worlds.
Something about seeing someone's reality expressed not only in words but through images, sounds, and metaphors was deeply moving. The screenings became more than just viewings, but moments of revelation, as family and friends glimpsed what had always been there, but unseen. The relief and transformation on both sides was palpable.
Something about seeing someone's reality expressed not only in words but through images, sounds, and metaphors was deeply moving. The screenings became more than just viewings, but moments of revelation, as family and friends glimpsed what had always been there, but unseen. The relief and transformation on both sides was palpable.
Do we ever really know eachother?
What struck me most in these films was the subtle pain carried by so many: the feeling of not being truly understood, even by those closest to them. To finally reveal a piece of their inner landscape and the truth of the challenges they faced brought such freedom. It was as though a weight they had carried silently for years had been lifted, and with it, came permission to be their true selves. Beyond that permission, I sensed a powerful reclaiming of self-worth.
Imagine if we could all feel valued, worthy, and lovable as human beings—exactly as we are!
What we don't see
Watching this series made me aware of how little I may actually know of the lived experience of the people I believe I know well. In many ways, I feel privileged in my work as a kinesiologist to be welcomed behind the masks we wear and meet the “real” person beneath. In general, we know so little of the deeper stories that lie beyond the surface of what we see - or as I'm exploring today - what is shown...
The masks we wear
Regardless of our brain wiring, we all “mask” in subtle ways, presenting the version of ourselves we think will be most acceptable, admired, or least disruptive to the world around us. Yet masking takes effort and is not always sustainable.
What a relief it can be to let someone in on our quirks and struggles, and to feel the freedom of being our beautifully imperfect selves!
What a relief it can be to let someone in on our quirks and struggles, and to feel the freedom of being our beautifully imperfect selves!
“When one is pretending, the entire body revolts.” – Anaïs Nin
The Mask of "Having it All Together"
I often notice this mask in people who truly are competent, carrying so much on their shoulders with skill and grace. Competence can become a kind of armour, where others lean on their strength and admire their achievements, but rarely pause to ask about their inner world or vulnerabilities. For someone in this position, it can feel like an enormous leap to begin speaking openly about their struggles for fear that it will somehow diminish the very capability that defines them.
Strength and Softness Belong Together
We all have our own ways to both protect and conceal, whether it be through competence, humour, kindness, or calm. The thing is, most of the time, people don't want or need judgement or advice. Often the true gift of being understood stems from being listened to with compassion and gentleness and in a way that honours both strength and vulnerability.
Being understood is a tender, lovely feeling. And when we take the time to understand each other, there is the possibility of sharing something deep and wonderful. Sometimes it is our questions to others that open these hidden doors, and at other times it is the sharing of our own vulnerabilities that invites others to share theirs. It is good to remember that competence and struggle, strength and softness, mask and truth, all belong!
May your masks grow lighter and your truth shine brighter!
Being understood is a tender, lovely feeling. And when we take the time to understand each other, there is the possibility of sharing something deep and wonderful. Sometimes it is our questions to others that open these hidden doors, and at other times it is the sharing of our own vulnerabilities that invites others to share theirs. It is good to remember that competence and struggle, strength and softness, mask and truth, all belong!
May your masks grow lighter and your truth shine brighter!
Invitation to ponder
If you feel inspired, here are some questions you might like to ponder...
🌿 When was the last time you felt truly understood?🌿 What helps you drop the “mask” and let others see the real you?🌿 Is there someone in your life you’d like to understand more deeply this week? Or perhaps someone you'd like to share more of your true self with this week?
If this reflection stirred something in you, or you have a relevant story that you'd like to share, I'd love to hear from you!
🌿 When was the last time you felt truly understood?🌿 What helps you drop the “mask” and let others see the real you?🌿 Is there someone in your life you’d like to understand more deeply this week? Or perhaps someone you'd like to share more of your true self with this week?
If this reflection stirred something in you, or you have a relevant story that you'd like to share, I'd love to hear from you!