Tuesday 29th September, 2020
Unearthing Unconditional Self-Worth
As an infant we rely on our voice to communicate our needs to our care-givers. How we are attended to when we reach out with our voices at this early stage of life, can set-up within our system a trust or mistrust that our needs can be met. It can also lead us to develop beliefs about whether or not having needs and expressing them is ok or not. An aspect of the Voice Kin journey uncovers the deep-seated beliefs we hold, that often diminish a sense of self-worth and de-value our needs as a human being.
Whilst this piece of writing is focused on women who are feeling over-burdened and trapped within old-fashioned societal expectations, I also wish to acknowledge that this is not just an issue for women. Men can also find themselves in these situations; suppressing their own needs, without a voice and burnt-out. In any case, if you’d like to change the way you feel about your self, Voice Kin can help you shift into a place of knowing, at the deepest level, that who you are is worthy.
Unconditionally.
To grow up in a household where the woman does everything, cooking, cleaning, tending to children’s needs, as well as working, is to be indoctrinated into a system where women don’t even question their birthright to be free from such expectations. Many women, even today, find themselves imprisoned by such expectations, feeling powerless to change the dynamic within their relationships and feeling deeply frustrated. In the ceaseless giving, many people have buried their own needs so far underground, it takes some deep digging to access them.
In the black lives matter up-rising and conversations around white privilege, I read an article naming white privilege as a white person’s disease. This was a light-bulb moment for me. Indigenous communities and people of colour have been fighting for equality for decades, yet without white people’s ability to acknowledge their privilege, how can there be real change? It helped me to understand that male privilege can be viewed as a male disease. It leads me to question, can real change happen on the equality front, if men don't acknowledge the existence of male privilege in the world?
In my kinesiology practice I see so many women looking to heal their broken parts; damaged self-esteem, shut-down voice and adrenal exhaustion. They work hard to change their own beliefs about themselves and extricate themselves from both family and cultural expectations. Whilst they long to enjoy equality and the sharing of the domestic workload, women can only do so much to change the existing dynamic within their relationships. Whilst it is not in their power to change their partners, it is within their power to shift self-imposed expectations and place their own needs in a position of importance.
When we serve others as an empowered choice, it is a truly wonderful gift to the world. However, serving because your survival system is wired to do so, has the tendency to leave you not only feeling resentful and unfulfilled, but running on empty.
What I mean when I talk about your survival system being wired to serve, I'm talking about choices driven by fear. Choices that keep you stuck in doing what's "expected" of you. The underlying fear might be that you will be rejected or abandoned if you consider yourself first in the equation; that to express your truth and follow your heart is somehow unacceptable, forbidden or a punishable offence. Whatever it's flavour, it's a subconscious program that drives your choices and actions, believing it’s a matter of survival. Identifying these survival programs is the beginning of change. You get to move from choices born out of fear, to choices based on self-love and wisdom.
True worth cannot be improved or destroyed. It is inherent in who you are. It is not about what you do or do not do. It's completely free of any expectations.
If you’d like to unearth your unconditional self-worth and operate from a more empowered place, I’d love to hear from you! You can jump aboard the Voice Kin program at a discounted rate all through the month of October.
Call 0402 256 959 and let's get started!